How do we integrate grief into worship?

Integrating grief into worship is hard, but there are times when it's important for a Christian community to figure out how.

1. I've seen grief verbally acknowledged from a pulpit, then someone leading the service asked the participants to set it aside to enter into worship. This seems better than not acknowledging the grief, but I think it conveys the impression that grief is insignificant, or that the show must go on—that the participants are less important than the ceremony of worship.

2. I've seen someone invite participants to enter into triumphant worship with their grief, to express their faith in the middle of the circumstances. This seems like a better response because it invites participants to meditate on how their worship relates to their grief. It opens up opportunities to recognize Jesus as the resurrection and the life (John 11:23-27).

The drawback of 2 is that it can tend toward papering-over grief rather than integrating it. We are often so uncomfortable with grief and the questions it raises about God's timing and His mercy that we are tempted to jump to "Jesus is the answer" without letting anyone ask their hard questions. 

"Jesus is the answer," but Jesus often doesn't answer in ways that we expect. 

"Jesus is the answer," but we are waiting for His glorious appearing, and we don't know how long we'll be waiting. 

The martyrs in heaven ask, "How long?" (Rev. 6:9-10). If martyrs dwelling in God's presence may lament, we should leave space for believers to lament in His presence too.

I don't know how it would go or how it should look to leave that space. Maybe it would look like taking the time to address hard questions in sermons, letting a tragedy reorient our plans for a service. Maybe it would look like something less sermon-centered than our normal model—an extended time with instrumental music and an altar opened not just for seeking but also for grieving.

I don't have the ultimate solution here, and I have no criticism for any leader trying to find their way through integrating grief and worship. It's really hard. I just wonder if there's a better way.